tigermisu:

There’s this guy that rants everyday about how everyone is sinners at our college and someone made a bingo game to go along with him today

scottpilgrirn:

mecto—amorous:

consistentlyaverage:

mecto—amorous:

two robots who are girlfriends and one is super high tech and the other is kind of a cheap poorly made model and shes really self conscious compared to her shiny new state of the art girlfriend but the high tech girlfriend is like shhshhshh no baby ur adorable glitches and faulty parts and all

So basically lesbian wall.e?

#is it even 100%certain that wall.e is a guy anyway

I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK YOU’RE HIRED

imaginedragonsdaily:

Warriors (From League of Legends) - Imagine Dragons (x)

destieldrabblesdaily:

Dear fellow Destiel shippers…

Thank you for making Destiel Day 2014 a beautiful one. Thank you for making sure that it was filled with nothing but love and positive posts about our ship. Thanks for the adorable fanart, gifsets, and fanfiction. Thanks for making this…


misha-dmitri-t-krushnic-collins:

pivotalwolf:

anorie:

lotrlockedwhovian:

baara:

the lady behind the counter asked how much whipped cream I wanted and I asked for a shit ton and then she came back with this

We now know the exact amount of shit ton, thank you for your contribution

I used to work at Dunkin and I swear you would do things like this on peoples ridiculous requests and it either got a chuckle and a thank you… Or they bitched you out for being a smart ass.

Example: one time a dude asked for heavy cream so my cashier asked how white they wanted the coffee and they said make it purple. So I went to the decoration area and got flavorless food dye and made it purple. Never had a dude laugh harder in my life

this woukd have made me so happy


danglingthpider:

notcrazyiswear:

I’ve put together a simple chart that explains the various ways you should and shouldn’t summon a waiter over to your table, and the service you’re likely to receive accordingly.

Because if one more middle aged, obnoxious asshole goes “hey you!” and snaps their fingers at me, I WILL snap said person’s neck.

I waitressed my way through college and one night this guy yells at me “Oi! you with the tits!” and my co-worker Matthew walked up to him and said “yes?”


huffingtonpost:

Here’s What The iPhone 6 SHOULD Have Looked Like

Imagine you’ve just bought a shiny, new iPhone 6. You unwrap it, turn it on for the first time and notice — Hey! Apple deleted the Apple Maps app and replaced it with Google Maps! Oh what a wonderful world that would be.

Watch the full hilarious College Humor video here.

taylorswift:

shakeitoffs:

do you ever just feel like

image

Omg all the time.

    Mum:this is them?
    Me:yeah
    Mum:this is the band you're obsessed with?
    Me:yeah
    Mum:is that guy pretending to be a unicorn with a microphone?
    Me:yeah.

little-cyes-2:

dan-and-his-hormones:

Ferguson police are being sued for $40mil, +++ some of the officers are facing individual lawsuits for rights infringement. fucking break those cops. 

YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES!

image


moniker-padacklyte:

rememberthetimewefellinlove:

"Fearless snake killing motherfucker"

"Personally victimised by shampoo"

lztybrn:

remember way back in 2006 when the wii first came out and then the entirety of the world forgot how to hold onto something with a firm grasp so much that nintendo had to make a shock absorbing condom just so that tvs wouldnt get destroyed when people would end up sending this thing flying at their tvs at 900 miles per hour


lazysmirk:

vittyyluvscookies:

thriftlessvoyage:

brotoro:

alexturnermilk:

kyuubified:

awwnutbunnies:

shinukinomi:

So apparently no one should ever buy sugarless Haribo gummy bears

Fun fact: I once bought sugar free gummy bears. 

This is exactly what happened

Petition for Youtubers to start doing the “Sugarless Gummy Bear Challenge”

FINALLY I FIND THIS SO I CAN SHOW THE WORLD THIS HAS TO BE SEEN

my cousins ate a bunch of these once and got sick as hell

my mom told me it’s because they ate too much candy

now i know it was a LIE

I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD AT WHAT WAS ESSENTIALLY A POOP JOKE

HOLY SHIT

Jan 10th, 2014. We did this in the ER because everyone who works in the ER is 6 yrs old. It takes about 2-3 hrs before you begin to feel like you are straight up going to shit your pants. I was on the toilet for an hour. Then I tried to take a shower. I shat myself in the shower. 

It was the funniest thing I will ever fucking do.

It only takes a handful.

Do not do it.

dirkbot:

Doctor Who: Even if you’re an average person with an unexciting life, something fantastic will happen and you can challenge yourself.

Moffat Who: You gotta be hot and raised under magical circumstances so some day a megalomaniacal alien will notice you